The Curse of Yin
It was a good life, sitting in The Valley of Peace; the smell of jasmine and oolong soaring through the air, perfuming the entire valley until that tea was finished and the citizens of the town moved on to the next tea.
This is where The Great Spirit looms, and only those with a powerful soul may meet it. I decided to walk up to The Pond of Yin-Yang where the Great Spirit lives, in its matter form, The Soul Stone. I went up to the pond, and there it was, far above the valley: a pool so beautiful that you could stare at it for days!
The dazzle illuminating from it was like a sky filled with golden stars. The pool smelled and felt just as wonderful. The smell of honey and the great emerald bees’ sugary drinks spread around the pond. The bees patrolled through the luscious fields filled with shiny yellow flowers, spangled across the pond. And the sound, oh the beautiful wonderful sound, so tranquil you could drop down asleep on the spot and stay there for days! I myself was about to do so.
Now I look farther, and there through the spark-covered water, I see two coy fish. One black with white eyes, and one white with black eyes. These were Yin and Yang, the two great fish and halves of the Great Spirit, skimming gracefully around the pond.
Finally, in the center of the pond lay the Soul Stone. It sat in a marble pedestal. Even compared to the pond it was the most glorious thing ever. The jewel shined a ghostly blue, with a luminous spark of light. This was the ruler of balance. This was the king of kings. This was the orb that ruled over all things. I sighed, wishing I could speak to the Great Spirit.
As I was starting to walk away, I tripped on a nearby river rock and fell into the pond! At that time Yin swam toward me, and I panicked to the extent where I was about to drown. Then I felt something come over me. It felt shivering and almost like the gale, and poison of nightshade. It spread through me, cooling my blood. I felt a piercing sting infest my body, and then my blood started to boil like a cauldron on a black fire, the pain making my skin twitch and wriggle. My feet and hands started to drop. Then my legs and arms, the twitching intensely powering up. Soon my body felt it, then my head. Centipedes swarmed out of my blood veins; crawling and biting the inside of my skin. My body seemed to turn red from the blood opening inside it. One-foot gashes appeared on my skin, and the centipedes crawled out of my veins, and onto my body. All of my organs were ripped apart. The bloody remains of my body started to turn black. A mouth of a giant skeletal serpent started to swallow me. I could only see darkness.
I was heading to the underworld. When a gleaming silver light showed itself to my eyes, I swam out from the depths of the water through the silver ball of light, when I finally entered the surface of the earth. I was thrown out of the ball of energy that saved my life, onto a boat, willow by the look of it..
This was the absolute scariest story I have ever read. The caterpillar thing was ... nightmare worthy. For anyone who likes creepy things, this is a ten out of ten. Great work. Also, is there a sequal? It stops sort of suddenly.
ReplyDeleteThis was the absolute scariest story I have ever read. The caterpillar thing was ... nightmare worthy. For anyone who likes creepy things, this is a ten out of ten. Great work. Also, is there a sequal? It stops sort of suddenly.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ahna, you should make a sequal. I also love the detail you put into each paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThats what I am thinking about. I kind of ended it on a cliffhanger didn't I.
DeleteGood job Adrian I was thinking "What the heck goes through this kids head?!" just now but I love the part where you say " One-foot gashes appeared on my skin, and the centipedes crawled out of my veins, and onto my body. All of my organs were ripped apart.".
ReplyDeleteThe part where the centipedes crawl out of his skin still gives me bad visions. But other than that, Nice job describing how they DID crawl out and what happened. Nice job, Adrian. Nice job...
ReplyDelete- Julia
That last paragraph is cool but keep going.
ReplyDelete